i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
