all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
