you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
