Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
