I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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