There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
