That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
