i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
