mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
