i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
