The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
