you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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