drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
