My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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