we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
