In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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