check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
