tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
