he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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