After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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