No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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