He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
