so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize