this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we made out on top of his cat.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
third nipple confirmed
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
