im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
