I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
