My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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