You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
