i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
