Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
