Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
