If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize