my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
