He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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