ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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