I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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