how can u be prego again
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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