Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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