I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
