big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize