Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
