ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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