Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's blow job season.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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