I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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