i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
