Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
