Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Boobs speak an international language.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
