K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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