these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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