my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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