Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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