she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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