so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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