I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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