I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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