I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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