i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
