the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have tasted many bathrooms
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
